I'm your brother!

Hayes calls him "Sniff" and Sniff is his newest best friend that he can adore every little hair and eyelash on. He wants to hold him all the time and is constantly kissing and asking if he can "pet" him. Sniff gets sung to and told "I love you baby brother" all day long. My favorite is how he tells him "Aaaawwww, your so ca-uuute!" I love these boys and am so glad they have each other.

Since not many people could come to Vegas while we were in the hospital, we wanted to document the special moment of two brothers meeting for the first time to share with you all.

Welcome to the world!

Unreal. The whole experience already seems so awesomely unreal. If I wasn't there in that oxytocin filled room breathing in those love hormones, I wouldn't even think it was my story to tell. If I didn't see our gorgeous baby being placed on my chest with my own eyes, I would have claimed it all a dream. An awesome dream.

Hopefully I can remember all the details before they become an even more fuzzy story in my head. As I hold my few day old baby, everything seems to have happened so many long sleepless nights ago. 

We left our doctors appointment Tuesday and (no surprise) I had cramps that night going to bed. Nothing out of the normal as I was only dilated to a two. I woke up a few times through the night with more cramps, again normal- no big deal as I was used to getting up several times through the night anyway. It wasn't until just before five that I started to pay attention to see if these cramps could actually have a pattern and not be cramps at all. I've never had Braxton Hicks or anything with either pregnancy so I couldn't quite remember the feeling I was looking for to see if this was for real or not. Close to six, I woke up Chris and an hour later called my dad for him to get ready for his long drive ahead, just in case this was it. The contractions were so sporadic and random I told Chris to head to work and I'd be fine. My dad decided to take off down the road just in case. Good thing he did. 

By 11 I was trying to lug my hospital bags down the stairs between contractions and drop Hayes off with a (heaven sent) neighbor. I probably gave Chris a little scare when I called him and told him he'd better leave soon. I can now tell you I was crazy and didn't realize I probably shouldn't have driven to the hospital myself but all of a sudden my contractions went from six to three minutes apart in one contraction, so I felt a little urgency. Yes, I do now know how long the stop lights on Eastern are-approximately one contraction. At one point I glanced over at the guy waiting in the car next to me at the light and had to chuckle as I breathed through a contraction. If he only knew. The contractions were coming hard but definitely still tolerable.

When I checked into the hospital at noon I was a five and Chris and I were still laughing between contractions. Easy peasy, right? Hands sweating, nervous anticipation, today was the day we had been waiting for all this time! As my contractions kept getting harder, the nurse kept asking if we wanted to break my water because it was "bulging" and the only thing stopping the baby's head from coming down more. At that point I wanted my body to be ready before my water broke so we gave it a chance to break on its own. I knew the contractions would get harder after it broke and I was about to find out how (truly) true that is.

All I have to say is my nurse owes me. When my water broke with Hayes I was home asleep in bed and got the pleasure of some bonding time cleaning it up with my hubby. This time I thought I had to pee so I actually went into the bathroom and sat down through another contraction and my water broke right there. Your welcome for the no mess clean up Miss nurse Keri. After that it was game on. 

The nurse wanted me back in bed and on the monitor so she could check me. I'm pretty sure it took me 15 minutes to make my way across the room and attempt to get back in the bed. At this point I wasn't happy about getting hooked back up to the darn monitor anyway. I guess I wasn't happy about much as I was finally feeling some pain. I was ready and I wanted to meet my baby.

My plan was to walk to help the labor and switch positions during contractions. Little did I know I'd hardly have time for much of that. When I scurried back into bed they checked me again and quickly called the doctor because they could feel little baby's head coming. Good thing the doctor was already downstairs because as she walked in minutes later, I felt like it was time. 

My regular doctor was out of town so his fill-in (Dr. Leon) was the one to be catching. I hate to say it but I didn't really love her and our personalities didn't quite mesh so her telling me to ignore every natural urge I had to push didn't go over all that great. She said there was still a lip of my cervix we needed to wait for but I felt like it wasn't my decision and this babe was coming if she liked it or not.

Here's when the hard part started. The actual pushing was hard, don't get me wrong, but the real hard part was when they told me to stop pushing and wait for the next contraction. That's when I doubted if I could do it. I'm not sure if it was the pain or my cheerleaders (Chris and Francie reassuring me I could do it and I was so close) but I couldn't stop pushing and my body just did its own thing to get our guy out. After three short pushes, during contractions or not, Chris and I got to experience the miracle of watching our son placed on my chest. It was a moment I'd relive everyday if I could.

It was hard, it was magical and we did it! I've never felt more supported by my husband and proud to bring another sweet boy into this world! 

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” 

― Lao Tzu

Introducing...

Smith Scott Torgersen 

9/12/12 @ 2:05 pm

9lb 1 oz & 21 in

.

Week 38/39

I'm writing this after the fact, but week 38/39 definitely needs to be remembered. Because Hayes came early I kept anticipating meeting this little boy early too. Every time I'd bump my huge tummy into a door or chair I'd think, "That might be the last time I do that." Every time I'd put on a shirt that no longer covered my bump I'd think, "that'll be the last shirt I grow out of." ...and every time I was wrong. More bumps, less clothes that fit.

By the end of the week I started doubting he was ever going to make his debut. I started asking people about Castor oil and did google searches on how to make your baby drop. His little butt was still in my ribs and he had a long way down ahead of him. Talk about discouragement. I was well past uncomfortable at this point (and I bet he was pretty squashed from all the extra amniotic I had too). 

Tuesday we had an appointment with the doctor. Our doctor was out of town so we met Dr. Leon. As much as I wanted to love her, the second she left the room Chris and I looked at each other and both didn't feel comfortable. We had done all this planning on going natural and within minutes of meeting us she was talking about needing a c-section and the need for pitocin in labor because our baby was big and his shoulders "will definitely get stuck."

My thoughts went from getting this baby out to please hold on another week so Dr.Sauter can get home.

Good thing we have no say on this situation because we were only a day away from meeting our little love and this little guy didn't even give Dr. Leon a chance to change his plans on his big arrival. Boy are we so glad he's here!

Preschool

Funny story...
All morning long as we were getting ready for our first day of preschool (which my little buddy was so so so excited for) Hayes kept telling me that Pluto was going to school with him. I didn't think anything of it because my son has a thing for imaginary dogs so I just figured imaginary Pluto was going to school with him. Right before I took him in the front door I asked him what I could see bulging in his book bag. He unzips it and tells me, "I told you Pluto wanted to go to school with me." Needless to say, we shoved him back in and Pluto spent Hayes first day of school with him.

Now every time since, Hayes asks me to just "drop him off" and he'll run up the stairs by himself. Such an independent little guy that doesn't even need his momma anymore!

Week 37

I won't complain. Well, I guess that's the end of this blog post because all I can do right now is complain. My bones hurt, my stomach is so stretched you could bounce a penny off it, I feel huge and uncomfortable, it is stinking hot and I now know what it will feel like to go through menopause and hot flashes, I can't sleep...

Humm, the only thing I can think of right now that is positive is there are just three more weeks! Can't wait to meet this babe (that STILL doesn't have a name by the way)!

Weeks 33-36

Crazy! Yep, we are just a little crazy!

1. Drove to Utah and saw Wicked (so fun).
2. Happy 7 year anniversary.
3. Shot weddings and a family session while waddling my bruised pelvic bone around.
4. Sewed bumper pads, crib skirt, crib sheet, roman shades for the babe's room as well as our bedroom curtains and the playroom's curtains. You know me better than that. Of course I didn't do the sewing. Aunt Meri did the hard work but I was great at giving moral support! So grateful for her!
5. Went to lunch and my sister and friends spoiled the new baby rotten. Again so grateful for them!
6. Drove to Jackson, WY.
7. Camped for a week. Yes, I camped at 35 wks preggo. lol!
8. Rafted the Snake River (don't freak out, the water was slow so I felt very safe).
9 Smelly, smelly outhouses = gag!
10. Drove back to Utah.
11. Drove home to Vegas.

All in two weeks. Yep, that was like 25 hours of driving.

Phew! We had so much fun but I'm pretty sure I'll never recover and every single time I walk by my car my pelvic bone screams in terror. I never want to get in that car ever again ;)

Week 30-32

The great divide on the Land Before Time, a fault line during an earthquake, the Grand Canyon, Moses and the Red Sea, Pangaea, oil and water, my pelvic bone...
All things that have separated.

Meri and her family came down this week so we took a casual stroll down to let the kiddos see the Bellagio fountains. Fun, as always, but that's when it happened-the separation of my pelvic bone. No worries. I don't really need that, do I?

sep·a·ra·tion

   [sep-uh-rey-shuhn] 

noun

1.

an act or instance of separating or the state of being separated.

2.

a place of parting.

3.

a gap, hole, rent, or the like. Something that divides.

4.

Ouchy momma!!! Freakity freak freak freak!!!

Somebody call the doc, this baby is trying to break his way out. I seriously turned to Chris and asked him if he was ready to catch because it felt like my insides just split in two and this babe might slide out. 

When I actually called the doctor to see if there was anything to save my pelvic bone and to relieve the pain he said, "It just happens sometimes in the end of pregnancy." Really! That's it? Again, freakity freak! He told me if it hurts to walk, don't walk. If it hurts to stand, don't stand. Ya, easy enough to do for eight more weeks ESPECIALLY with a three year old. For the love!

Weeks 27-29

My life just kinda needs a little push. You know, something to make myself feel impowered/important/strong. I've never really done something to the fullest just to see how far I can go so after much though and debate, we (including my drug loving pharmacist of a hubby) have decided to have this baby naturally...if at all possible. I wanna feel what it actually feels like to push. I want to be able to make the connection that "hey, those are my legs the nurse is holding" without having to be told she just moved them for me. I totally think epidurals are great, in fact I think it's a miracle drug, but I'm just curious how far my body can take me and how the "natural high" feels after. Plus it feels like a safe alternative for me at this point.

We are aware that Jr seems to already be a bit of a chubby baby and that might cause a small problem, but we are hoping for the best and preparing for a drug free delivery. Yes, this is coming from the girl that thought her anesthesiologist was some kind of god after giving me that heavenly shot with Hayes :) I just feel like every sign possible is telling me that this is something I need to do for myself and this little babe.

So what does one do when wanting to go natural? Well, I read a Hypnobirthing book because I've heard a lot of hype about it. I would really love to tell you it was the enlightenment I needed but it kind of wasn't. There were a lot of good points that were really helpful but I'm afraid I'm not the type to "visualize" and internalize everything around me to block out the world and get to a hypnotic state. I get distracted way too easily. I'd rather have someone helping me and nudging (or heck even pushing) me to get through it. Not dogging Hypnobirthing if you are the type of person to take charge and go into a relaxed state by yourself, that stuff is just harder for me.

A friend I met down here in Vegas had an awesome natural home birth (which we won't do but props to her) and she gave me some great resources to check up on. So I started reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (and I've left The Birth Partner on the counter for months, you know just in case Chris gets bored and wants to read it ;) and called a local center that has classes and such. At this point Chris is super supportive of whatever I want, so I talked him into taking a 12 week class with me going over the Bradley Method of Childbirth. It's a more husband coached method and we've learned a lot about different positions that help ease pain and massaging to get through the hard parts. It's great and our instructor is awesome! It's got me super excited to push (no pun intended) myself and see how far I can go. We had a friend set us up with a student doula to help at the hospital - and for those of you that don't know what student doula means, it's just another word for free :) No really, she seems awesome and I'm sure will be a ton of help!

Besides some crazies in the class- that I could write an entire book on and that actually think we are the crazy ones (we really might be in this case) we feel really good about it all. Gosh, can I just go there for a minute? I have to. This class is so entertaining. One lady in our class actually refers to herself in third person as "Super Sized". She's funny, but my oh my please don't tell us in details about your home birth you want to have naked in a tub with your hubby. Wow, TMI. Then you have to meet the kid in the class we call "Anthrax". He's the first person I've met to ever dislike my husband. Nobody hates Chris. "Anthrax" thinks the military gave him Anthrax by a vaccine and tries to find ways to pick a fight with Chris about the evils of medications and vaccinations whenever he can. Of course, Chris just smiles at him. Haha. And the small survey of people in our class wouldn't be complete without the "know it all". She's never had kids, of course not, but everyone else is dumber than her because she's read "16 books on the subject" and anything anyone else says deserves one serious eye roll from her direction. She gets mad at anyone who uses the word "pain". Heck lady, I don't care what you call it, pain is pain, that's why we are at the class. Just by calling pain something else doesn't mean it hurts less. If you call a horse a cow, that doesn't make it a cow now does it?

Oh man, good times! So if you wonder what I've been up to, I've been doing a lot of research and reading on birth. It's seriously fascinating.

Now we just have to find out how fast our families can get down here (ahem sister who goes on a work trip the week I'm due) and who will take Hayes until they can get here. Minor details.

Week 24-26

Let me first tell you that freaking out is just kind of what I do. I'm actually pretty good at it by this point in my life. With that being said, let me tell you a little about my Vegas freak out. 

After having our big ultrasound to make sure you are doing great and growing-which you are-we were enlightened on the healthcare in Vegas. To put it in a nutshell, Vegas hospitals are struggling. In fact, when we told our doctor in Utah that we were moving here he asked us if we were going to hop in a car and drive back to Utah to deliver, because we should. He used to practice down here and he didn’t have many positive things to say about it. He unfortunately hasn’t been the only one to tell us about all the healthcare issues Vegas faces either. Looks like the doctors have to take on so many patients that everyone suffers a little. The c-section rates are insane at most of the hospitals. Insane! It seems the doctors try to schedule c-sections as much as they can to get in as many babies as possible in the shortest amount of time.

Anyway, I have this uneasy feeling about it all. Our doctor seems great so far but I just need more information before I can feel better about any of it.

As for living in Vegas, I still feel like a fish out of water down here, but hopefully things will get a little more normal. The good news is that you are still safe inside my belly and the big ultrasound went smooth as can be. That’s all that matters for now.

Week 21-23

Did I say I couldn’t get enough of your kicking? Let me rephrase that.  I can’t get enough of your kicking between the hours of 7:30 am and 10:00 pm, but those darn late night kicks are already strong enough to wake me up…or at least strong enough to stomp on my bladder and send me running for the potty.

The last little while has been nothing but a blur. Hayes and I flew back to Utah to do some photography and then came back to move into our new house. The week we moved in Pop pop came down to help us as well as Kami and her 4 kids (she adopted Makelle for the weekend).  They were here for a week and then Chris’ grandparents, aunt, uncle and parents came down for his graduation. (Yaay Chris for graduating!). Then we dropped all the boxes where they were, which was pretty much the same place we put them when moving in because of lack of time, and headed back to Utah for more wedding photoshoots.

So now we are back to Vegas and trying to get into a schedule again. We have approximately 16 weeks to get a house unpacked, painted, cleaned and somewhat decorated. 

Although I say 16 weeks, I really don’t know if you’ll stay put that long. The doctor says that you are already measuring a week ahead of schedule and might be a “big baby”. I don’t mind big, as long as it means healthy!

What he's "thankul" for

This is too funny, Hayes' prayers tonight...

"Heavenly fada. Thankul for...(insert a long list of every family member and little friend he loves and if you are really special you are even said two or three times).
Thankul for my new train that goes round and round, birds, bathrooms, helicopters and airplanes that land, big snakes, dad's Ipad, Hayes' Ipad (it's really an Innotab but don't tell him that), walls and windows and lights. Thankul for bathrooms".

Yes, little buddy. I think we are all thankful for those things. Well maybe besides big snakes.

Week 19 & 20

Met a new doctor in Vegas. He’s kind of corky and I like him. Even though I didn’t have any questions to ask him, I tried my hardest to search my brain for anything to say- just to make sure I trusted him with the birth of our precious babe. He won me over when he started head bopping to Hayes’ Spiderman theme song on my phone and I realized he's just as chill as could be. Everything will work out. Phew!

Halfway! Already halfway there and still so much to do! Moving into a new house and trying to get settled will be quite the project (especially without a lot of family around).  I want everything to be perfect for your big arrival so we have a few busy months ahead of us!

The fun thing about this part of the pregnancy is feeling you kick all day! Can’t get enough of those little somersaults and nothing is more reassuring than feeling that you are okay in there. Stay okay in there and I won't even complain about the constant kicking through the night, deal!? 

Week 16-18

Hang in there little baby. You are one of the only calm/stable things in my life right now so I kind of depend on your constant companionship. With your brother’s birthday, packing up all of our stuff and moving to a new state, Chris trying to fit into a new job, unpacking, etc. it seems everything besides my two little boys are new and foreign to me. It’s crazy how a tiny kick from the inside or a snuggle from a (now) three year old reminds me what’s important in life. Our little family!

Week 14 & 15

Dr H: Do you guys want to know the gender?

Us: YES!

Dr H: (puts ultrasound machine on my tummy and sees the baby’s back. Wiggles machine a tich and gets the shot within seconds).

Boy!

Me: How sure are you?

Dr H: Want me to keep looking?...Boy (readjusts machine) Boy (readjusts machine) Boy. Boy. Boy. Boy. Definitely boy!

Wow! I have a flash forward to mud, trucks and tons more sports in our future. Hayes will have a little buddy to show how to get into trouble. He’ll have his brother the way I had my sister. Best of friends!

Chris’ flash forward was a little different. We get in the car and he says, “Wow, a boy huh? That means you’re going to want to try for a girl again aren’t you?”

Baahahaha! SO funny and so excited to meet our little dude!

Hayes' 3rd Bday Party!

Of course we couldn't do anything other than a superhero party this year. Hayes is obsessed! Thanks to everyone who came and sported their super powers ;)

Week 12 & 13

Smells. Ugh, they are everywhere! Still puking and most of the time it is triggered by smells.

Call me crazy but I swear I felt this little goldfish fluttering around inside my belly this week.  The few times I have laid down and relaxed before bed I could feel a little bumping on my inside. Thirteen weeks seems way to early, but I swear there is no imagining it this many times in a row.

I am consumed by this baby’s gender. Boy or girl, girl or boy. What are you little baby? Dad and Hayes swear girl but I swear everyone I know is having their third or even fourth boy in a row. We really don’t care either way but we were just so anxious to know.

Week 10 & 11

I am an emotional wreck! Everything makes me cry…movies, blogs, even just a quite moment thinking about life. It’s not that I’m necessarily sad, in fact in this point of life I’m very grateful, but I just have all of these dang emotions. We are trying to get a house down in Vegas right now so my emotions (and brain) are everywhere. I just can’t wait to have a healthy little babe and a safe roof over our heads.

Telling people that we are expecting another little baby is always fun. My mom and dad kind of already guessed it. When we were down in Vegas with my dad looking for houses I was so so so sick. I made Chris pull over a few times while driving around, I puked over and over after my dad fell asleep at night and nothing sat right the entire week with me. We’ll just say being sick makes it hard to be discreet and my dad had a pretty good idea what was up.  Maybe it was the constant munching of animal crackers and Gardettos from my purse that gave it away. They seemed to be the only thing I could keep down.

Everyone is already so excited for this baby to come. Aunt Kam is already complaining he/she will be too far away to snuggle with anytime. Grandpa Dave shed a few tears and all in all everyone is every excited!

Hello crazy dreams. Well, maybe crazy isn’t the word to describe it. Maybe it is more like anxiety dreams. All night long I can’t sleep because I’m dreaming about moving to Vegas and not having a house. I know that’s silly and everything will work out but that’s not what my brain thinks when I shut everything else out at night. Don’t worry baby, by the time September comes along we should have everything worked out… I hope.